Pumped up on something… excitement?, nervousness?, anger? rage?

Step 1: The initial creation of da… da… da… da…. DARTH SAUL

Sebulsky and I survived our “introductory” course training on insulin pumps today at UK Children’s Clinic.

I have spent nearly every waking hour researching insulin pumps and reaching out to my “FB support team” for tips, suggestions and what I like to consider “pre-consultation” advice. I posted a few videos on FB about insulin pumps because I’ve had quite a few folks ask me how it will work. We are currently lined up with Medtronic.  For the consumer report lovers out there check the link below.

http://forecast.diabetes.org/files/images/v65n01_Insulin_Pumps.pdf

I personally like the idea of the Omni-pod but we’ve been advised to not go that route because of Saul’s age and situation. After seeing it today I can understand how it might be beneficial for  young adults/adults but would be difficult to use on a toddler… looks like Medtronic it is.

A few things I expected to hear today (and heard)

You still have to do all the work (aka… be a pancreas….. arrrrgggghhh…. every time I hear those words I get angry and want to kick some pancreas.) -By doing all the work that means still gotta carb count, and give doses

It will make your life easier

It will give you better control of your blood sugar

It’s going to be difficult with a toddler (yanking out the tubing, changing insertion sets, sleeping situation, diapers)

Things I didn’t expect to hear (and heard)

It’s going to be very expensive (devices average $6,000 dollars… get ready for the insurance company)

You must keep the device for 4 years (like all technology… there will be upgrades but you are basically locked into a 4 year agreement once you choose a company’s pump)

Don’t “ask” your insurance company if they will approve an insulin pump. Let UK Children’s Clinic “fight” the battle then ask questions later.

Oh… and

I brought the most commonly used devices to the training day… the ones your insurance company will generally agree too.

So… that’s about it for now… gotta pause on the momentum till paper work is faxed, contacts called, insurance approves, etc. etc. I kinda jumped the gun and contacted Medtronic last week… ironically the guy emailed today during our class… I replied with “how can we expedite this process?” I’ve yet to receive a response. Heather our diabetes educator assured me it would be at least 3 weeks before we are trained on the Medtronic pump… so in the meantime… I will continue to read, research and rant.

I’ve yet to actually publish that post I wrote about my dealings with and feelings towards Humana. Maybe it’s because I know I’ll have more to add… maybe it’s that I feel guilty for complaining when I’m actually appreciative of having insurance… I know lots of people who aren’t so lucky. Maybe I just know the post is offensive and deep down I’m afraid I might actually… you… know… “offend” someone.  

I had the post on my mind as I was sitting in the Rite Aide parking lot yesterday (during one of my now weekly visits). Curious… I googled “most expensive chronic illnesses”- guess which one always makes the list?

I’m not sure I can put into words ----- or that you even want to hear the words I have to say---- after reading quotes from Forbes, the CDC and major news companies. 

After all the personal effort I’d put forth into “getting over” the diagnosis and “moving on” with treatments I found myself fevered, fuming and furious… ready to pick up the advocate banner and start waving in everyone’s face… shouting facts and statistics and screaming to anyone who would listen.  

My 17 month old son has a chronic disease that WAS NOT PREVENTABLE.  He will have to deal with this for the rest of his life… pay for it (literally) for the rest of his life.

Seriously… can’t they just come up with another name for Type 2 Diabetes… you know the kind you get that CAN BE PREVENTED…. like when you EAT BETTER FOODS… and LOSE WEIGHT…. The kind you get when you’re an adult and have lived over half your life enjoying  a diet of krispy kremes, twinkies and moon pies… things that my sweet boy will have to avoid.

I cringe every. single. time.  someone tells me they understand what it’s like… you know cause they know someone with diabetes… a grandmother. uncle. their 65 year old Dad.

 I mean… Seriously? Seriously? So you take Metformin, drink diet cokes and check your blood sugar once a day.. Yeah. Sure. Lay it on me… you’re an expert.

My problem with diabetes is that it’s become “common enough” (thanks in large part to Type 2 diabetics) to be passed off as “ahh… not that big a deal”…… that is unless…. you’re the pancreas of a child whose diabetic and YOU deal with the minute by minute management of a sneaky disease that doesn’t always make sense and doesn't always make you look “sick.”

And here I am worried about that offensive post against Humana and I’ve done gone on a tirade over Type 2 diabetics (there goes a portion of my viewing audience)*sigh*

I diverge.  While I could focus on some of my “still suppressed  anger “ I will instead leave you with the best part of my day.  Hearing these three words from parents of kids who’ve all been diagnosed over a year "It Get's Better."

The instant comradely I felt towards these total strangers was… well… strange… but oh so comforting as I watched them give insulin injections with ease and openly express the same genuine fears and concerns for their elementary school age kids that I have for my 17 month old baby.

I won’t lie. I’m still a little upset… I still have the occasional “outburst of anger” but I’m having fewer and fewer "moments of rage" and more and more “flashes of faith” and trusting that “it’ll get better” makes it all A-okay... especially when the advice comes from a sweet 10 year old girl sitting across the table who "know's what it's like."