So I came to the conclusion yesterday I seriously need an outlet- a stress reliever- something more productive than surfing pinterest and something less intensive than sweeping the house.
I've gone through a range of emotions lately. One minute I'm channeling Dr. Irene who's saying "it'll be fine, things will be the same, you'll get used to all this, it'll be "normal." The next minute I'm holding down a screaming baby at 2:00 a.m. doing a glucose test and pulling out cotton balls from his diaper to do ketone tests... all the while screaming "THIS IS NOT NORMAL!"
I hear people say... "it's not cancer"... "it could be worse"... "he'll live"... the best... my favorite is... "well you know (________________________) (fill in the blank) has diabetes and they get along just fine". Except that 99 times out of 100 the (___________________________) (fill in the blank) is an adult living with type 2 diabetes.
In my reaching out to the diabetic community, talking to people, joining forums, etc. etc. I have yet to meet anyone with a child as young as Saul who has diabetes.
He is in a rare category. Only 16 months old. Diabetic. AND... yeah... don't forget... go ahead and toss in those food allergies... you know just for fun.
So while I know it'll get easier. I know I'll get used to it. I know this is not about me. Things are kinda sucky right now... and definitely NOT NORMAL. There is nothing "normal" about drawing blood and sticking your poor baby with needles 5-6 times a day.
So yeah... if you come visit me you may have to dodge a few trains, the occasional Barbie but don't worry... I won't throw any syringes at you.
This is my outlet for rambling. A space on the interweb where I will attempt to explain what life is like as a full-time pancreas. I'm a librarian (on hold) and a lover of coffee and cardigans. I'm a Mom to a dino obsessed T-1, 3 year old, and a tutu-wearing, bug wrangling, Montessori 5 year old. Sebulsky & I constantly debate the creation of our own sit-com... this website could serve as the pre-pilot rough draft.
Thanks for posting these, Courtney. Wish we lived closer so that we could help out. Glad you're finding ways to cope. And I agree with you... none of this sounds "normal"--really rooting for you guys!!!
ReplyDeleteit is sucky and I'm sorry. Yes it could be worse BUT I don't think anyone has considered our children have a lifelong illness that will never disappear by eating healthy or exercising and can have grave consequences if we don't test blood or inject with insulin.
ReplyDeleteby the way, Mary C from facebook :)