"P" instead of "D"

I need to change this blog to my “P” days instead of “D” days.

"P’s" in the form of pee, poop and puke. I mean come on… bodily excrement’s are far more entertaining than diabetes.

Some days I feel like wrapping all the continents of my house in plastic. Do they make tarp wall paper? Cellophane curtains perhaps? Would it be so bad to have bubble wrap carpet? I seriously looked into the Rubbermaid flooring options about a year ago… the “garage/tire change store/oil change station look” just didn’t seem to fit with our existing attire.

It's not just the two kids that are slowly destroying our house one inch at a time. I told you about one of our “dysfunctional animals” I’ve yet to tell you about the other. You know I’m not even sure you want to know. I’ll give you a hint… her name starts with “D” but her issue involves “P.” Technically… Her diagnosis… “submissive urination.” Yes. I admit we've got issues around here. We have one totally blind dog and one that is a “submissive urinater (according to Word Dictionary “urinater” is not a word) I will however continue to use it for blogging purposes.

With Daisy it was love at first sight… I watched her bravely cross 152 to nibble on a dead deer carcass while dodging cars and trucks in a frogger like manner and I knew this was the dog for me. She was “living” outside Mom and Dad’s neighbor’s house at the time. No doubt she was being abused. It was evident she had a real fear of men. It took her 6 months to just get comfortable with Jeff- even today she cowers and pees when he goes to hook her up to take her for a walk. When I rescued her she was covered in fleas, ticks and had 3 kinds of worms… she also had mange. Her ears were scabbed over and crusty with dried blood. She was (and now I’m channeling Tim Gunn) One. Hot. Mess. And in typical “Courtney Grimes fashion” I got a hair… and loaded that beast in the back of my little Subaru at Mom and Dad’s and took her home to KY.

She’s still a mess… minus the worms, mange and ticks… okay we forgot to put her flea medicine on last month… so I’m not so confident that she’s not transporting around 1 or 2. And even though she’s been a part of the family for 6 years she still has the “tinkles” when someone new comes to our house, or it thunders, or when Jeff hooks her up, or when there's a loud noise... or ….. you get my point.

Like everything else, I’ve learned to look past her shortcomings and always have paper towels on hand. Harper learned at an early age to use Daisy's deficiency to her advantage.  We once walked in to find a puddle of pee on our kitchen floor. There was Harper standing diaper less, straddling the mess she was only 2, but quick to point a finger at Daisy… “umm… She did it… not me.”

After this week of getting puked on, pooped on and peed on by both kids … cleaning up Daisy’s occasional daily dribble seems like nothing.

I’m not sure what point this entry has… except for those who are keeping count… you might add this to your mental list of “one more reason” to avoid the Grimes-Sebulsky house…  “I mean… come on… she expects us to step over pee and try not to trip on her blind dog while dodging Trains and Barbies? Geesh.”