That which does not…. *YEAH RIGHT!*
I gotta say… it’s getting down right ridiculous up in this joint. While my “coping” skills have vastly improved in the near 1 month post verdict (in large part thanks to "Kangaroo Juice" (EH's name for my nightly "wine dose" of cheap Yellow Tail)…. Saul’s BG levels in fact, have not. Unfortunately to put his levels in modern-everyday slang “they suck.”
Our first outing since diagnosis, which I decided to expose to the world via Face book was… well… umm… not good. Thank God Jeff and I managed in our 20 minute stay to order long-awaited, deliciously hot and steaming, over-priced Starbucks beverages before all hell broke loose… otherwise… those in the Lexington area might have ended up watching me later on Lex 18.
*!*!*! Breaking News*!*!*!*! Crazy lady armed with BD syringes and lancing device holds up Hamburg Barnes & Noble Starbucks chick... embarrassed husband waits patiently with lethargic toddler strung across his back.
I won’t lie… it was a little scary (not the aforementioned hypothetical) but Saul’s actual hypoglycemic episode. Looking back (though I’m sure it will sound ridiculous to some) – I wish I’d videoed the whole thing. I think I may start doing this - less for dramatic “show” and more for medical documentation.
Needless to say, my confidence in returning to work has been slightly shaken these past few days. The wee teeny tiny bit of self-assurance I developed the previous week (in my ability to care for him) has also been crushed. I spent hours this morning while Saul was napping analyzing his data… When are his highs? When are his lows? Is he playing too hard after dinner? Did I forget a nighttime snack? Did I give him too many carbs? Is there something wrong with his Humalog? Am I not administering the shots right? What’s the best injection site… arm? leg? butt?
I have become obsessed with finding an answer to an ever changing question. Death by diabetic obsession… not the way I thought I’d leave this world.
<Meanwhile>
In the midst of my "strength training” this morning while phoning UK, texting our Ped, researching Lantus and problem solving how to use our latest ketone monitor.... I got a phone call from Mom.
It pretty much went like this.
Mom: “Hey”
Me: “Hey”
Mom: “How is everything”
Me: “.......Sigh…... Umm… we’re okay… I’m trying to get in touch with UK.”
Mom: “.......Weeeellllll…...... I was in the bathroom and Harper was playing in the living room…... and…...... weeeeeeelllllllll…..... we’ve been playing with beads…..... and....….w-”
*Interruption by Me*
Me: “Yeah.... what's wrong?”
Mom: “Well… I think I’m going to have to take her somewhere… like to a Dr...... cause she just came in and told me she's got one stuck up her nose.... A red one.... She says she only has a red one.... I’ve tried to find it but it’s up there preeettttty far….... She swears there’s only one.”
Me: “Is she breathing?”
Mom: “Oh yeah”
Me: “Ahhhh… let’s just leave it there. Tell her to put another one in the other nostril to even out her breathing.”
Okay… Okay you’re right…. that last part was added for dramatic effect…. for audience appreciation... ya'll need a little humor.
Anyway… what was I saying? "That which does not kill you…"
Half an hour after phoning Humana to find out the closest in-network Urgent Treatment Center in the Huntington WV-Tri-state area..... and.... interrupting Jeff at work..... while....... adding a new tab to my 500 existing Google search tabs... (this time Googling) “what to do when kid shoves crap up their nose”............................. I get a pic from Mom.
With a message.
“Got it out”
If I’d had more than 2 hours of sleep last night I might have slightly been concerned about the primitive tools blatantly lying by that bad bead…. Alas… I figured if Mom had to carve a bit of the nostril out with a butter knife or poke the bead down the back of her throat with that ball point pen... we'd at least have a pretty good story to share at the next family reunion.
Post script.
No. worries. Mom got her to sneeze it out... no nostrils were hurt in the production of the event.
P.S.S.
I asked Mom to put Harper on the phone after all of the shenanigans. I asked “Why?!?!?! … Why did you stick that bead up your nose!?!?!?” Her reply: “Cause I wanted too.” I asked... “Harper WHY?!?!?! Why would you do that?!?!?!” The response I got in a tone I'm not sure I appreciated..... “MOOOOMMM!!!!! I WAS TRYING TO DO AN EXPERIMENT!!!!”
"That which does not kill you.... Right?"
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