Making the Grade

So I jokingly mentioned this on FB the other day… and sorry to all you other little T-1 kiddos out there…

but… 

Saul Sebulsky is Dr. Irene’s favorite patient. I know, because she said so…. like at least 3 times… and told him to keep it on the DL so the other kids don’t get jealous.

I have to say… I can’t blame her. Saul rocked the UK Ped’s Endo office Wednesday morning. Other than a tiny crying fit when attempting blood pressure he was pretty much the greatest, most hilarious little dude ever. He charmed “Bob” the med school student with his causal nod when asked “Is it okay for me to listen to your chest?” then had everyone in the room in tears laughing when Bob placed the stethoscope to his chest and Saul with a grin says “Ahhh…. Coooool.”  By the time we left he also had the nurse wrapped around his little finger.  He nearly passed out from excitement shouting  “CAAAAARRRRRSSSSS!!!!!” in her ear as he pointed to the Mater sticker on her ID badge while she was taking vitals. And then… as if in a final “show em up… these other kids ain’t got crap on me” gesture he really blew Dr. Irene 5 kisses and gave her an air high 5 when she told him bye.

I know you think I’m kidding… but I swear… all accounts are accurate. Ask Sebulsky.

It’s no wonder he left with extra stickers and a toy. I left thinking… dag on… we got all these folks fooled.

All in all the entire experience was quiet pleasant. I had psyched myself up for weeks stressing over A1C and yo-yo-ing BG levels. When Dr. Irene told me his A1C had actually decreased I nearly let “holy &#%@” slip out. Needless to say, she was extremely pleased with progress and his overall growth and development.

I’m not sure if she sensed my need for feedback, remembered my life as a former teacher, or was generally just pleased… but she wrote a big ole A+ on his discharge papers and provided me with plenty of positive praise.

I tried to suppress the smile that was splitting my face in half...  tried to minimize the ultimate feeling of joy and success as we walked out the door… reminded myself… this  is only the 2^nd of what will be a lifetime of A1C’s… so don’t get all cocky… and don’t take these numbers to heart…

But the truth is - it’s hard not too.

It’s hard to ever know for sure that he’s really okay. It’s difficult when you don’t feel like you’ve got things under control- even if you really do. And even though I force myself to not think about the crazy stuff… like the effects this has on cognitive development, amputations, or kidney dialysis… It all creeps up when we go in for A1C checks.

The first thing I’d always do when receiving a syllabus in college was look at the grade breakdown. I’d whip out a calculator and figure out exactly what percent I’d have to make on specific assignments to get an A or B (okay… sometimes a C as an undergrad). When possible I’d always try to “stack” grades… like try to earn as many points on easy assignments in case I’d do poorly on future assignments or difficult exams.

I wish got a syllabus with diabetes. I wish I knew the breakdown of grades for when Saul is an adult. I like to think that I’m stacking as many points as possible now… while he’s young… while I attempt to control him so that when difficult times come… he’ll still pass and be okay.

I tried explaining this to him over lunch today… but it’s often difficult to hold a discussion of this nature with a 20 month old. I think he mighta got what I was saying cause I did get an air high 5 and “ah cool” in response.

Little Buddy waiting on Dr. Irene

Stickers & toy for Saul. A+ for Grimes & Sebulsky