Food. From V to D.

I was a vegetarian for a good 5-6 years or so when I first moved here to Kentucky- partly because I grew health conscious- and- partly because I liked the challenge of testing my will power. While a bit of a struggle at first, over time my taste preferences evolved and eventually I grew to hate the sight of meat, especially in raw form. I couldn’t stand to walk by meat markets or delis or even step foot in BD Mongolian grill (lol).

My relationship with food had changed. I looked at food differently. I contemplated it more, ate less of it for pleasure and more of it for fuel and spent way more time in the “living foods” and “healthy options” section than the “cereal aisle” or “potato chip aisle” (consequently spending way more $$ as well).  

Then… I got pregnant.

I vividly recall the exact moment in time when the hankering happened. Sebulsky and I were driving through Georgetown to  watch the GRC boys play in the state championship soccer game when… all…of… a… sudden… I had the most ridiculous… yearning… craving… desire…..

(for a juicy, thick, delicious steak??)

oh no…  I forced Jeff Sebulsky at pointed finger gun point, to take me to McDonalds for a cheeseburger. I can still remember the smell of those fallen diced onions , the slight crunch of the not-so-fresh bun and that oh so tasty tiny thin burger that was devoured in seconds and was so i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.y. delicious after all those years. 

And that my friends… “is all she wrote.” I’ve been eating meat in all its forms and glory ever since that monumental, ceremonial craving back in October 2007.

Food became “fun” again… corn dogs at Fairs, making late night runs to the border, and yes… I actually started eating more than “plain biscuits” at McDonalds again... curse you Mikey D's and all that crack you lace in irresistible fries and nasty but ohhhh soo sooo sooo yummy nuggets.

Then… I got a diabetic child.

Being a parent of a Type 1 toddler quickly changes a lot of things in life. At just 4 months in- I would say the greatest challenge and most difficult adjustment has been food and meal related.

Because once again... I struggle as my relationship with food is transformed.

Since January 28^th I have had to count, measure and review every single piece of “edible anything” that has entered Saul’s mouth.

Though it has gotten easier - every meal still consists of a meticulous 3 step process: 

1. Carb-counting, balancing protein, measuring serving size

2. Getting Saul to eat (every measured bite on his plate) which he doesn't do (because really... ? what toddler ever does anything you want them to do)

3. Scraping every leftover food item from his clothing, high chair, floor, ceiling and walls so that it can be measured, calculated and deducted from what DID make it into his mouth so an accurate does of insulin can be bolused  by his pump.

Sure I’m much better at it now than I was back in January:  the routine, the counting carbs, knowing serving sizes, balancing meals with lots of protein and healthy diabetic friendly food choices…

- attempting to actually eat out in public where the painstaking process is openly visible. - No matter how desperate my endeavors are at keeping things on the “DL” we have yet to go anywhere in public with Saul & food where someone, outta somewhere hasn’t questioned the practice or given us a verbal (or non-verbal) sympathy.

And while I’ve/we’ve advanced from novice to proficient… dealing with “food” and “eating” is still just as annoying as it was 4 months ago.

I tell myself that I have an advantage over other parents because I have experienced living with food-restrictions (though mine was by choice not need). I tell myself that this is a good lifestyle change for the entire family - not just Saul... and maybe he will lead others later in life to make good healthy food choices because they want too not because they have too.

I tell myself… you never know… maybe I’ll get so inspired I go back to full-fledged vegetarianism (Tofurkey 2012 it IS!) … okay Sebulsky… I can see cyber “eye rolls.”

Hey-  even you can’t deny a love for some good ole' deep fried tofu….