Country Roads take me

I'd like to say its gotten easier, less difficult and more routine- but if I did I'd be lying. Unfortunately, for me, each geographical transition becomes more and more emotionally exhausting as the years go by.

So many others have written about their own shared experience (much more eloquently than I ever could) that I dare attempt to even expose my scarred and scattered thoughts into simple sentence form.

I've rehearsed different analogies in my head... relived AP Human Geography lectures I'd given to High School seniors about the cultural and geographical impact of "place." Yet I still find I'm at a loss for words and understanding when trying to untangle from the emotional web I get caught in when "going home."

Sometimes I liken my relationship with this "place" to that of an ex-friend... distant, past, "over" yet still somehow strangely connected on a weirdly removed level.

How & why do people fall in and out of love with "a place?"

When my life is in sync I'm satisfied with the miles between us but when things get tough I always long for home.

There have been times throughout this trip when I'd feel that I truly have "gotten above my raising" but there've also been times I've felt so amongst my "kin" it makes me question why I'd ever want to leave.

The realization that my kids are not and will not be "West Virginian" is what probably hurts the most. I tell myself that maybe kids their age in WV won't hold on to a sense of place and people the way all other generations of West Virginians have... but deep down inside I know they will.... we always do... it's what happens when you're born and raised in this wild and wonderful "place."

I'll pack up the kids tomorrow and drive back to Central Kentucky... back home... to bluegrass and horses and bourbon and leave behind my beloved mountains and all their precious contents... including family.

And even though I'm hours away... one state away... you can count the counties away... I'll leave behind a life to return to another and question the validity of both for the entire 2 hours I'm driving in the car.

I'll blame. I'll justify. I'll accept. I'll leave.

And then I will miss...

It's what all of us WV expatriates do.