This is what happened.

I heard the screams first... the gut-wrenching, blood-curdling sound of thrashing and terror. I came running down the hall. I had just put dinner in the fridge - "Firecracker Chicken" and "Collard Greens." I knew it was you. Trip stayed sound asleep. I saw the fear in your eyes and I froze. I saw you contorted, spasing and desperately trying to gain control of your body and mind. I wanted to run away because I was scared too but instead I immediately grabbed you. Your distorted fingers clamped onto me as I felt you thrust uncontrollably against me. I cried out your name. You couldn't respond. I ran through the house with you clinging onto me and grabbed your juice from the back room. I poured it all over your face. You choked and spit it up. I wept as I held you in my arms. You half cried-half vomited up the words "Uh-Oh" as your body jerked and twisted violently. You didn't know what was happening to you. I should have told you. I should have explained. You were scared. I was scared... all I could do was hold you and cry out. "It's okay Saul. It's okay Saul. It's okay Saul." I held you and with one hand dialed Daddy's number.... I think I yelled "emergency come home" but I'm not quite sure. I had to set you down on the couch to call 911... which frightened you even more. I promise I won't ever set you down again. You kept saying "uh-oh" each time you felt your body abnormally twinge and shudder. They asked me how long it lasted. I wanted to tell them a lifetime. I think it was a matter of minutes. Daddy witnessed the end of it. When we were able to check you... you were 105. I was confused. The EMT's were so nice. One told me his wife was Type 1. He let you look at all the cool knobs and gadgets on the equipment. You really liked the "glowing finger pulse reader thingy." They asked you what you liked and you smiled through your bop bop and replied "dump cars." When you felt better you played cars with them on the living room floor. One of the EMT's used your foot as a car ramp and jumped your favorite monster truck off your leg. You laughed out loud. I felt the same way I did the first time I ever heard you laugh. Then we talked about seizures. We went to the Emergency Room. The check-in lady laughed because you had a cell phone in your pocket... then apologized and said she was really sorry when I told her it was your insulin pump. She said she felt really sorry for you. I wanted to tell her not too- but at the time I felt sorry for you too and that made me sorry as well. Two different nurses asked if I was Type 1. I told them no. They said, well who in the family? I said you. They said how? I said "just lucky I guess." I wish you hadn't been so lucky. I wish I had better luck. I wish I had it. I wish I could take it away from you. I wish I had it with you so I would know what it's like- so I could better understand- take better care of you. Everyone at the hosptial of course loved you. You "marched" with the nurse around the Nurses’ Station. You blew kisses to the Dr's. I saw them crack smiles. Even the most serious of people sometime need a release. Your nurse went and found you a "present." She brought you a Cars puzzle. You said "McQueen" I always correct you and say "NO... RED NOT GREEN." All this time you've been saying McQueen and I thought you were saying green. It felt like a breakthrough. We tried watching TV. There were no kids shows. We looked at lots of buttons, do-dads, gizmos and thingy's on the bed. We destroyed the sheet. The Dr. said you would be okay. We didn't do CT Scans. He said you were way to low. I called UK immediately. I wanted to rip the pump off. I knew if I did we'd be back in the hospital with DKA. You kept saying "go go go go go" while the Dr. was talking to me. We left soon after. I asked if you remembered what happened when we were walking in the parking lot. You just smiled. I said do you remember the ambulance and you went "Nee-haw Nee-haw Nee-haw." I got in the car and felt a gush of tears flooding my facial cavity. I was afraid if I didn't close my eyes tight I might wash us away. I opened my eyes and the urge to cry was there but nothing came out. I drove home. You watched Bubble Guppies while I drove and I thought to myself... I have failed you.